And so I begin…
It’s March 2nd, 2024, 7 months away from my 34th Birthday on this planet. Today I started this website in hopes that I can write down my life and share my experiences. Admittedly as I sit here in my small and darkened room in a small town adjacent to a even bigger town Corvallis, OR — A.I find’s a way to easily almost describe my life in just a few passages as outlined in the About Page, funny how an A.I can do this.. Almost scary really how A.I is moving at an alarming rate, like as if Skynet from the terminator movie is growing ever closer to reality… by the way anyone know a John Connor? We should probably find him and protect that dude at all costs. Haha
I digress, I don’t know, I suppose I wanted to create this personal journey site to reflect my life into words like I have never done before. Perhaps there may be people out there who could be slightly interested in my life, even if it’s a tiny bit or a sign of mutual feelings I have for life. I don’t dread life as much anymore, but most days I get in a really bad “funk” and my go to is to “shut down.” The worst part of that is there is no one there to help me walkthrough it. My person, my partner in life to help stabilize it, to reassure stuff will be okay. Looking for “love” again is a lot of hard work, like being thrown in the deep end with no way to swim out, because once you are there you tend to sink to the bottom where there is only miles of sand. As much as you want to swim up to join everyone else that’s keeping afloat, the abyss wants to keep dragging you down further and further… and further.
For the past three and a half years I have been working on myself, I took therapy for a short while, two months to be exact, one session per week for eight weeks. Although it helped somewhat, I just revert to a bitter and bland person. An NPC (non-playable character) in this world — and to be honest that’s most of us, I’d rather be that then have Main Character Syndrome, a narcissist or person who is only fueled by attention seeking. However, it’s hypocritical of me to state that because I am creating a personal blog about myself, so where does this place me? I’m not so sure, but I know we are social creatures so we have to have some sort of line of communication and true thought to share our lives.
I’m getting tired as I created this late into the evening, but I want to leave on a memorable quote that I like to live by that helps remind me why I keep moving everyday and not let everything bring me down.
"It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
— Rocky Balboa sharing his life's wisdom in Rocky Balboa Movie
